Bitter Ex-Nuke Wife

QotD: Who are you dying to see in concert?

Blinddryve. 

This is a shameless plug for an excellent alternative metal band that is up and coming.  Get to know Blinddryve now, and when they are world famous you can say you knew them back in the day.

  Members:

Chris Sandoval-Vocals,  Jimmy Medina-Guitar,  Daniel Gonzales-Bass,   

Kirk Kapple-Drums <--my friend's son!

Genre:

Alternative Metal

Hometown:

 

Albuquerque, NM

 

Record Label:

 

Mysteria Records

Blinddryve_BeneathTheMasses1

100 Calorie Packs of 94% Fat Free Microwave Popcorn

What is the reason for this?  I am talking about 94% fat free microwave popcorn – which is practically the same as air popped popcorn with no butter or oil added.  It is OK to eat a lot of popcorn.  Assuming it is not the cina-cina-ma-plex version that is sautéed in butter-flavored oil for the popping procedure, and after popping is soaked in artery clogging tans fat loaded butter flavored goo.  And salt.  No, I am referring to the mostly healthy, OK to eat a bag full of, 94% fat free microwave popcorn.  Kettle corn flavor even. Even Weight Watchers sanctions 94% fat free microwave popcorn.  Moreover, if you are a total pigalina and eat an entire bag of 94% fat free microwave popcorn it comes out to something like 200 calories and 2 grams of fat.  For the love of Mike, or Orville, eat the entire bag, wash it down with an icy diet soda, and be happy.  I do this several nights a week and my life is amazing. 

 

So, my question is this; who thinks it is necessary to buy 94% fat free microwave popcorn in teeny tiny packs that add up to 100 calories?  If your diet is so restricted that you need to control the number of calories of 94% fat free microwave popcorn that you eat at a time to a mere 100, you might need to rethink your reason for continuing to turn perfectly good oxygen into carbon dioxide.  It is 94% fat free microwave popcorn…just eat it and get on with your life.

 

Don’t pre-judge and ask why I bought the 100-calorie packs if I think they are stupid. And?  I do.  I bought them by mistake.  One huge, fat, sorry, rushed mistake, and now I am forced to spend 7 minutes popping enough popcorn to fill the single serving size bowl that is specifically for popcorn, because it takes three of the stupid little 100 calorie packs to fill the damned bowl up enough to even bother with.  Ok, I can live with 7 minutes for snack prep and that really is not the issue here.  I do take umbrage with idiotic marketing and in my opinion; this just about takes the prize.  At the risk of repeating my self, we are talking about 94% fat free microwave popcorn people.  The people who willing buy food packaged in 100-calorie increments are some of the same people I have witnessed quaffing1,267 calories of lite beer for Happy Hour.  They think the 100-calorie packs of cookies, crackers or chips are awesome. “Oh! Look!  I can have dinner, too!”  Again, I do not eat them; they are nasty, thin, brittle versions of their original counterparts.  Honestly, who thinks that four wafer thin crisps of semi-bitter chocolate with a hard sickly sweet drizzle is a decent facsimile of an Oreo? Umm, yuck.  If you want an Oreo then eat a damned Oreo.  Eat two, or even three.  If that is enough to cause strangulation by denim, then you probably have a bigger ass, problem, whatever, than you think you do.  However, I am not judging anyone’s cookie consumption.  What I am hating and judging, is the 100-calorie popcorn issue.  It is popcorn…got damn it…popcorn.  It is a diet food already.  To diminish its value as a viable snack food by controlling the servings to just 100 calories is just wrong.  And it makes me mad when I mistakenly buy it packaged this way. 

The Day of Days

With praise to all the countries who participated in the D-Day Landings, overwhelming thanks must be given to the British Forces, American Forces, and the Canadians Forces.  What honor and integrity those gallant young men must have felt as they prepared for the day.  And the fear and excitement they must have experienced as they began their personal assault on the shore and the enemy.

 

But where were the French when these heroes were fighting to save the world from the German War Machine?  That is right; they had already surrendered, and far too many of them were cooperating fully with the Germans. 

 

Cheese-eating Surrender Monkeys should never be left in charge of organizing such an honorable affair as the 65^th D-Day Anniversary. They weren’t even there!  They snub Her Majesty, The Queen of England without so much as a by-your-leave.  How arrogant, how disrespectful, how common these people are. 

 

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/britain_royals_history_wwii 

 

My father, an American, served in the Canadian Army in WWII.  The Queen’s father, His Majesty, King George, spoke to him during an inspection before the invasion.  The men and boys in the Canadian Army did not wade ashore that day, sacrificing so many lives, so their beloved Queen could be snubbed by the French 65 years later.

 

If the French wanted to be involved with the events of this anniversary they should have been happy to serve light snacks and tea to the British, Canadians and Americans who are there commemorating The Day.  However, based on their personal sacrifices that day so many years ago (none) they certainly have no business acting as hosts, especially when their social graces are so very lacking. My question to the French is this…”How did you forget to invite The Queen – were you all drunk?”

 

Disgust for the French aside - 65 years ago, true heroes waded ashore the beaches of Normandy to assault and ultimately crush the German War Machine.  Today we must remember the heroes who died that day so many years ago, and we must thank the heroes still with us.  We must get their stories written down.  We must remember the sacrifices they made for freedom.  We must never forget that they were the Greatest Generation and we owe them our never-ending thanks and support.

Rock Band 2

Who would have thought that this game would be so much fun?  Yea, the kids love it, the teens and tweens too.  Young adults are all over it as well.  But middle aged parents?  We were the first MAC (middle aged couple) we know to own RB2 and our friends are showing a few signs of interest.  We get feedback that 'it isn't really playing an instrument'  but who cares?  Both my husband and I played 'real' instruments in our high school bands and orchestras and were actually pretty decent in our day, so we know what 'playing a real instrument' is all about. 

We play RB2 because it is fun.  It rates us 'cool points' with our daughter's friends too.  On more than one occassion they have caught us in the act of rocking out to Bon Jovi, Billy Idol and Jethro Tull.  Invariably one of the youngsters will grab the microphone and sing along.  Even if they don't know all the words they still have fun and that is what it is all about.

 

Fearsome Battle: With the Canadian Army in WWII Europe

Fearsome Battle: With The Canadian Army In World War II Europe

Robert E. Rogge

This book was written by my father.  If you have an interest in WWII, D-Day, The Canadian Army, The Black Watch Higlander Regiment, The S,D&G Highlanders, or just a great read then this is your book.

 

Dear Food Network

I love you! I love almost every show and most of your hosts.  I do think that Giada and Rachel can throttle back on the cleavage exposure but there is probably some marketing reason that you continue to exploit the ta tas. (Male viewers aged 12-85 maybe?) 

 

Ta-Tas aside, Bobby Flay has influenced my grilling methods forever.  Iron Chef America rocks my Sunday nights.  I have watched every episode of The Next Food Network Star since season 2.  I rooted for Aaron McCargo, Jr from jump and watch Big Daddy’s House every week.  Will Work for Food is fun but I think Adam Gertler should have been awarded his own idea show -Ask Adam. (Aida Mollenkamp is as stale as a bagel baked for the previous Sabbath).

 

Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives would be my personal heart attack if watching Guy Fieri consume calories had the same effect as me actually consuming them.  Alton Brown’s Good Eats is personally responsible for my newfound love of steel cut oatmeal, brined turkey, and aged prime rib roast.  Not to mention haggis. 

 

Unwrapped grabs my attention from the first notes of the quirky opening music sequence to the final frame of Mark Summer’s smiling face.  I feel like the Ace of Cakes is a neighbor as I live just one county north of Baltimore , and when I travel to NYC I always eats at Juniors (thank YOU Bobby Flay for a cheesecake Throw Down!).  Speaking of Throw Down, the first episode I ever watched was Kentucky Hot Browns (my parents lived the Derby for many years) and the last episode filmed featured Hattie’s Chicken Shack in Saratoga Springs , NY .  I have eaten Hattie’s fried chicken when Hattie was still frying it.  Yes, Food Network you influence my daily life, my daily bread, and I am grateful.

 

Moreover, Dinner Impossible (with Chef Irvine) is one of the best reality shows on any network!  Yes Food Network, I love you.  However, it is not a perfect love as I personally think that there is room for at least two more programs and as the “Marketing Genius of the 21 Century” (who missed her calling), here are my suggestions:

 

Oh! No You Di-ent!   This is a show based on a total failure in the kitchen.  The event can be home catered, or on the professional level – no event is 100% foolproof!  The “Fix-It” person shows up just in time to express total surprise and exclaim “Oh! No you di-ent!” before proceeding to fix the mess and save the event with a glorious presentation of at least one original menu item salvaged and triumphantly served.  Feel free to tweak the details.

 

Cookie Up, Bitches! This show is about…cookies.  Cookies rock, end of discussion.   This show would rock the SAHM (Stay At Home Moms) world, because the show would focus at least one recipe a week to be fast & furious – complimenting the daily life of a SAHM.  I am available to host this show.

 

OK, Food Network.  These are my latest suggestions and I hope you read these with a grain of salt, and a sprig of dill, with a light dusting of confectioner’s sugar. 

 

 

 

 

Ode to the IRS

Oh demanding IRS

How you suck me dry financially

I can't afford to change my mind

Still you tax me blind.

 

Junk Food in the office kitchen

It shows up nearly everyday.

In the form of donuts, muffins, bagels, cookies, pie, and cakes.

Cakes seem to be the favorite around here.  We get coffee cake, carrot cake, someone's birthday cake, leftover Super Bowl cake, chocolate cake, white cake, pumpkin cake, apple cake, red velvet cake, layer cake, sheet cake and cup cakes.  No flavor combination is left un-caked here!

But wait!  Here comes the influx of candy-home made fudge, store bought fudge (and there is a wonderful candy shop near our office), kids Halloween candy, the ubiquitous and humongous bags of chocolate bars from the local wholesale club, peppermints, Starbursts, Jolly Ranchers, Hershey Nuggets and Miniatures.

And the girls wonder why the pounds are not creeping on, but steadily piling on.  The guys, well to hell with them and their speedy metabolisms.  They nosh all day and still complain about being hungry.

Me?  I have lost 13 pounds since the beginning of December. Junk food be gone!  Hello Weight Watchers.

 

QotD: Super Bowl Prediction

Who is going to win Super Bowl XLIII? The unlikely Arizona Cardinals or five-time Super Bowl champs, the Pittsburgh Steelers?

 

My heart belongs to the Steelers.  They are the team I have rooted for, defended, cried over, gotten smashed over, loved, hated, at times loved to hate them, other times I have hated that I love them, but the Steelers are my team and they have been since I was 8.  My dad was from Pittsburgh and my mom is from north central PA.   Stillers Blood runs deep in our family.

They were the first team to win four Super Bowls and I agonized every year that the Cowboys and 49ers won and eventually caught up to and then passed the Steelers for five wins.  Pittsburgh finally won number 5 and I am hoping beyond all hope that they win tomorrow so they will be the first to win the 6th ring.  When Dalls won 'one for thumb" first I cried.  Not because they did it first, but because it was Dallas.  If there was ever a team that fell from grace it has to be Dallas.  Firing Tom Landry and not even having the huzzah to tell him was unforgivable, and IMO the team went down hill from there and at this point in time there is not a lot of hope for redemption.  I digress.

The Steelers will win.