Call me what you want but I can not find the spirit that is supposed to be of this season. I love the lights and decoration, the carols, and the funny and fun songs; I like the colors and the bells. What I don't like is the premise that I HAVE to buy this and that for this person and that person, too.
I guess you could say that I have one foot in the holiday pool and the other on the terra firma of everyday reality. I have one child; she is 24 so I don't know how I fall in the category of having a child to buy presents for, however, she lives at home while she fiddles around with college and a job. We help her out, albeit too much, during the year, and are generous for her birthday and other gift giving occasions such as needing new tires for her truck, vacation (LAST one I am paying for) and other times just because it is habit to buy her things. She is not a fashionista and her taste is jewelry is simple and classy. Real gems in real gold or platinum, thank you very much. Her box of jewels is hardly overflowing but what she has is really nice, and will last her a lifetime.
So, here is the dilemma I face. I am being goaded into buying stuff and things for the sake of having wrapped gifts for her on Christmas morning. With no heed being paid to the my replies that I have already purchased what she said she really wants; gift cards to her favorite stores so she can capitalize on the After Christmas Sales. Smart girl in my book, and she would rather not have to stand in the never ending lines to return stuff I picked out so she can have either the money or the store credit to get what it is she wants.
Is this really a dilemma or am I feeling some buried guilt that I short changed her when she was a kid with the number of gifts she had to open. As soon as she was old enough to tell us (Santa) what she wanted I would buy everything that she asked for. Too much you say? Not really because she didn’t ask for the Toys R Us inventory to be under her tree. She would have two or three toys that she wanted and by golly, if that was all she wanted then she was going to get everything that she asked for. For five years she was the only grandchild and niece so she did score some mighty hauls. But only because both sides of her family were thrilled to have a little one running around at Christmas and they enjoyed the whole ‘bright eyes and aahhs’ that only a child can express.
Time passes and other children came into our families and since we were a Navy family we didn’t always get ‘home for the holidays’ which left my daughter to get what people were willing to mail. It didn’t take long for everyone, including the recipient, to figure out that money or gift cards were the way to go. My daughter is fine with this arrangement and has been since 5th grade. So why now, the push to have heaping piles of stuff to open?
I think the entire idea of giving lots of gifts for the sake of things to wrap and then unwrap is ludicrous. And for most people, a profane use of the money they should be spending on the bills they are behind on due to their economic hardships at this time. Personally, we aren’t suffering from the economy and we know that we are fortunate for that but it doesn’t mean that I am going to spend outrageous sums of money for gifts that she neither wants nor needs.
I have not knuckled under to the pressures from my co-workers but it has caused me to pause and think about the entire holiday rituals that people push on themselves and others. My husband & I are not big on giving gifts to each other either. We have all the stuff we want, and we do want for something then we buy it right then. Or, if we can’t afford to pay cash on the spot we discuss our saving strategy to accommodate the purchase. This eliminates any surprises but it guarantees total satisfaction with the purchase and to us this is worth a surprise. Call us boring but it is an arrangement that has worked for 28 years of marriage.
Yes, we do get each other presents during the year as the occasion arises. One example was a time my husband was at sea and one of his favorite authors had a new book released. I bought it for him and when he got home he was very pleased with the ‘homecoming gift.’ Had I waited for Christmas so I could present it as a gift, he would have either bought if for himself not knowing I already had it hidden away, or I would have had to have told him I had already purchased the book but he would have to wait for three weeks because it was wrapped and waiting for December 25th. How dumb is that?
I am of the mind that the ideas that we should treat everyday like it is Christmas, that we should be kind and giving everyday and not just for a few weeks in December are actually very good ideas. I do try to be kind all year so it galls me when the biggest bitches turn loving and kind, at least on the surface in hopes that their Secret Santa will come through with a gift worthy of their saintliness. Bah! Humbug! And why must we give gifts to our coworkers when often is the case that we don’t socialize with them outside of the office; we don’t consider them friends in our personal lives and they reciprocate the feelings? Even a $10 gift card adds up when you work with fifteen people. Hello utility bill not getting paid on time!
I’ll take the music, the decorations and the good spirits for the holidays. Oh, and the cookies, too. As for the ritual of glutinous spending on stuff and things, to that I say Bah! Humbug!
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